The Grunt *Paper* Work

THE GRUNT (PAPER) WORK

 

MAKING IT OFFICIAL-THE MARRIAGE LICENSE

 

First things first, you have to apply for a marriage license.  At least one of you must got to the local courthouse with necessary materials.

 

The necessary materials are;

-Certified copy of each party’s birth certificate.  If born out of state a waiver can be submitted. If either are born out of country you will need a valid passport, naturalization papers, or green card along with a a valid state id or drivers license to be presented to a judge and a waver will need to be obtained

 

-If either person is a divorced, a certified copy of final divorce decree

 

-If either person is widowed, a certified copy of death certificate

 

-Knowledge of your social security number

 

-Completed Marriage application form

 

A few rules;

 

One of ya’ll has to be 18. There are some rules that let 16 year olds get married but I am so not going there.

 

A LA Marriage license is valid in any parish for 30 days. There is a 72 hour waiting period from the time it was issued to the ceremony. A district judge or justice of the peace can waive this.

 

You need to order a certified copy of marriage two weeks after the marriage to ensure that the license has been returned and recorded.

 

LET EVERYONE KNOW-THE NAME CHANGE

 

You can pay for a name-change kit or, save money by doing it yourself. Some places may require an in-person visit to alter a name, while others will let you change it over the phone or by letter. You may have to do a little leg work by calling and finding out protocol for several.

7-step checklist for name change

  1. Get certified copies of your marriage license.
  2. Start with the Social Security Administration.
  3. Get a new driver’s license.
  4. Update work records and benefits.
  5. Contact your bank.
  6. Notify creditors in order to link credit files.
  7. Continue down the list.

1. Get certified copies of your marriage license

Obtain certified copies from the agency that filed your marriage license.  You will need to send this to the Social Security Administration.

 

2. Start with the Social Security Administration

Begin with this agency because it needs your correct name and ID number for payroll/benefits. A mismatch between your name and Social Security number could trigger a rejection of your tax return. You’ll need to file Form SS-5 with your local Social Security office to obtain a new Social Security card. Notifying the Social Security Administration will also update the Internal Revenue Service of your new name.

3. Get a new driver’s license

Get an updated license is super important.  You will most likely be able to update voter registration and vehicle and title at the same time. Check with your state Department of Motor Vehicles for instructions.

4. Update work records and benefits

Make sure they have new name and address as well as if any new beneficiaries or dependents will be added to your current insurance plan.

5. Contact your bank

Bring your updated license into a local bank and change your name in person

6. Notify creditors in order to link credit files

7. Then contact the other places on your list, such as:

       Landlord or mortgage company.

       Other insurance accounts (auto, life, home, etc.).

       Physicians’ offices.

       Professional licensing boards.

       Investment accounts.

       Your attorney (to update legal documents).

       Utilities.

       Passport office.

       Post office.

       Voter registration board.

       Alumni association.

       Facebook

       Email accounts

       Blogs

       Websites

       ETC

       Magazine subscriptions

Maid of Honor Duties

So you’ve been tried, and weighed and you fit the bill. You’re the maid of honor. Be happy. You are now your friends sounding board and confident.  There are tons of highs and lows when it comes to being a maid of honor. The important thing is to understand what it really means. She loves you.  Remember that.  She may decide you are the perfect person to take out a little wedding stress on. Or she may be perfect angelic and never say or do anything hurtful. Either way, hold on tight.

 

In today’s pinterest world, Maid of honor can take on different meanings. For some people, it’s interpreted as wedding planner/organizer.  For others, it simply means standing a little closer, holding her flowers and fixing her train. I personally believe the duties fall a little in between and depend on how many maids/matrons there are as well as proximity to bride. You simply can not expect an out of town maid of honor to do everything the girl living 5 minutes away can do. That doesn’t mean the out of town moh is any less emotionally invested.

 

One of your main duties no matter what is throwing the couples shower. Put a little love in it. Be as creative or as classic as she desires. Some brides have a vision and some brides can’t care less. Ask her what she wants. Determine if she wants a couple or ladies shower, where she wants it located, and when does she want it. After this, you will need to make invitations, work on decorations, choose a few fun games to play, make the menu, order cupcakes or cake, and encourage bride to register for gifts if she hasn’t already.  You can hint or ask other bridesmaids if they can contribute.  Most wont mind bringing a dish or picking up cupcakes etc.   Make sure the shower is at least 2 months prior to wedding. J

 

For the Maid of Honor that truly wants to be supportive here’s a few things you can do to help your friend prepare for their wedding and enjoy their wedding:

 

Prepare for wedding:

-Assist in addressing invitations (or stamping if you’re handwriting isn’t awesome or she has a calligrapher)

-Plan the shower

-Make an emergency kit (ill put a list of suggested items at bottom of article)

-Help the bride gather everything she will need for wedding (clothing makeup etc) and stay organized

-Help the bride get dressed. You will need to know how to corset/tie her dress as well as bustle. Go to her appointment with her and learn how to do this. (PS before wedding make sure your hands are clean!!! White dress—dirty makeup hands—aaaaah)

-Bring the brides going away outfit with you to reception

-Help the Bride pack for honeymoon and double check that she hasn’t left anything out.

 

 

Ceremony

-Keep the itinerary/schedule intact by making sure everyone (bridesmaids especially) are in the know of what they are suppose to be doing… and doing it

(reception too)

-Help the bride with gown, veil and train

-Hold her flowers

-Hold her ring

-Sign the marriage license

 

Reception

-Get her and the groom a plate to eat upon entering reception hall. They won’t have time to get it themselves!

-Point out important people to the bride to photographer/videographer. Help make sure that people are blocking key views of these professionals.

-Actually watch their first dance

-Have bridal party ready and waiting to do the wedding party dance

-Make sure best man is ready to do garter toss

-Help the bride change into her going away outfit

-Bring the wedding gown home after reception and bring it

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 be preserved. (this would be arranged by bride. This is mainly if she is going on a honeymoon)

-Mail the wedding announcements the following day of wedding.

-If the bride request, bring guest book, gifts etc to a safe location *their house or parents* for when they return.

 

 

Last but not least, ENJOY IT! This is fun! You are celebrating one of the most important day of a very important persons life. Show your love and be accountable. They are counting on you and that’s what really matters.

 

 

WEDDING DAY EMERGENCY KIT

Wedding Day Emergency Kit

A checklist of things every bride should have on hand on her wedding day.

Be prepared! Print this list and check off items as you assemble your kit.

Grooming

¨ hand lotion, wet wipes

¨ curling iron, hot rollers

¨ tissues

¨ hairdryer

¨ cotton balls, cotton swabs

¨ brush, comb

¨ makeup

¨ hairspray, hair gel

¨ makeup remover

¨ bobby pins, hair elastics, barrettes

¨ nail polish in shade worn

¨ headband or clips for pulling hair back while applying makeup

¨ nail polish remover

¨ toothbrush, toothpaste, floss

¨ nail file

¨ mouthwash

¨ tweezers

¨ baby powder

¨ small grooming scissors

¨ deodorant

¨ small hand towel

¨ perfume

¨ lint brush

 

Attire

¨ “throwaway” garter

¨ safety pins and a sewing kit with thread the color of bride’s and attendants’ dresses

¨ clear nail polish for runs in pantyhose

¨ masking tape or sewing tape (for last-minute ripped hems)

¨ extra earring backs

¨ small scissors (for thread)

¨ extra buttons

¨ club soda or other stain removal solutions

¨ flat shoes for the reception

¨ iron

¨ extra pantyhose

¨ White chalk for dress

Health/Medical

¨ antacid

¨ bandages

¨ antihistamine, cold remedy, any prescription meds

¨ upset stomach remedy

¨ aspirin, pain relievers

¨ feminine hygiene products (tampons, panty liners, etc.)

Miscellaneous

¨ extra copies of directions to reception

¨ _________________________________________

¨ breath mints

¨ _________________________________________

¨ cell phone and home phone numbers of all wedding participants

¨ _________________________________________

¨ contact information for all vendors

¨ _________________________________________

¨ snacks

¨ _________________________________________

¨ bottled water

¨ _________________________________________

¨ champagne, glasses

¨ _________________________________________

 

 

Hap

 

 

 

LITTLE SIDENOTE TO BRIDES; HOW TO PRESERVE WEDDING DRESS

 

Professionally

  1. Bring your dress within six weeks to get dry cleaned (or make arrangements).
  2. Professional gown preservation cost between 150$ and 500$.  Research and find a reputable dry cleaner with vast experience in the area.

 

DIY

If doing yourself. Get plenty of acid-free tissue paper and decide hanger or box storage. I vote hanger.

 

  1. If going with box, line the box with the paper and fold the dress accordion style hem first into box. Stuff the bodice with crumpled tissue paper. Put layers of tissue on top and put on lid.  Make sure lid is solid and does not have a plastic window. 
  2. For hanger storage, wrap a wide hanger with cotton batting and cover it with muslin. Buy an acid free cardboard “dress shaper” and place it over the hanger. Wrap it in tissue and place dress over the hanger.  Stuff the bodice of the dress and any deep folds with the tissue paper.  Cover the dress with a muslin bag and hang it in a coold dry closet. Don’t crush with any other clothing

 

You will need to inspect your dress annually. For box storage, you will need to repackage dress annually and fold in new areas to prevent creasing. 

To get a videographer or not to get a videographer, that is the question.

I say get them!

Every bride that I have spoken with that did not hire a videographer regretted it. From what I hear, the wedding day is one fantastic blur. How wonderful would it be to return from your honeymoon and get to revisit that special day. Even better than that, can you imagine in say ten years. I personally want a videographer for so much more than just to capture our I dos. For example, my nana and gramps love my son soooo much. You can see it when they look at him. It’s so beautiful. How awesome would it be for my son to be able to show his children these videos? Or my moms annoying but infectious laugh. One day I won’t be able to hear it. As annoying as it is, I know ill miss it. My future children will be able to watch these videos and these people. Anytime I start to forget I can relive my wedding day and when those that I love pass I will have this treasure to see their smiling face again. I know I could invest in a video recorder and start recording life events to capture this but I think when a professional does it in atmosphere like a wedding it intensifies everything.

Most that chose not to have videographer did so because of budget woes. I get it.

In order to not throw my budget extremely off, I eliminated flowers and décor in the vintage chapel and the photo booth. The chapel was beautiful enough without it and there really wasn’t much space for a photo booth. There is usually something you can move around. There are also some videographers who have a more economic price. Their work may not be on the same level as the pricier videographer but it’s better than nothing!

I was definitely one of the brides on the fence about hiring a videographer. Then I watched samples! Here is a link to my favorite videographer (yep the videographer for my wedding! Squueee — I never “squee” so you know they are amazing!) http://liparifilms.com/ I still go over his videos and watch them and cry a little bit. Then again wedding planning has turned me into a big ball of emotions. My advice, find a way. There is a videographer out there for every bride and every budget.

If you absolutely no way in the world can find room for this in your budget, at least get it on some sort of video. Professional is the way to go but even bad audio/lighting and shaky video are better than nothing!

NEXT POST: The Elopement trend and Destination Weddings.

Happy Planning!

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Stevi