The Grunt *Paper* Work

THE GRUNT (PAPER) WORK

 

MAKING IT OFFICIAL-THE MARRIAGE LICENSE

 

First things first, you have to apply for a marriage license.  At least one of you must got to the local courthouse with necessary materials.

 

The necessary materials are;

-Certified copy of each party’s birth certificate.  If born out of state a waiver can be submitted. If either are born out of country you will need a valid passport, naturalization papers, or green card along with a a valid state id or drivers license to be presented to a judge and a waver will need to be obtained

 

-If either person is a divorced, a certified copy of final divorce decree

 

-If either person is widowed, a certified copy of death certificate

 

-Knowledge of your social security number

 

-Completed Marriage application form

 

A few rules;

 

One of ya’ll has to be 18. There are some rules that let 16 year olds get married but I am so not going there.

 

A LA Marriage license is valid in any parish for 30 days. There is a 72 hour waiting period from the time it was issued to the ceremony. A district judge or justice of the peace can waive this.

 

You need to order a certified copy of marriage two weeks after the marriage to ensure that the license has been returned and recorded.

 

LET EVERYONE KNOW-THE NAME CHANGE

 

You can pay for a name-change kit or, save money by doing it yourself. Some places may require an in-person visit to alter a name, while others will let you change it over the phone or by letter. You may have to do a little leg work by calling and finding out protocol for several.

7-step checklist for name change

  1. Get certified copies of your marriage license.
  2. Start with the Social Security Administration.
  3. Get a new driver’s license.
  4. Update work records and benefits.
  5. Contact your bank.
  6. Notify creditors in order to link credit files.
  7. Continue down the list.

1. Get certified copies of your marriage license

Obtain certified copies from the agency that filed your marriage license.  You will need to send this to the Social Security Administration.

 

2. Start with the Social Security Administration

Begin with this agency because it needs your correct name and ID number for payroll/benefits. A mismatch between your name and Social Security number could trigger a rejection of your tax return. You’ll need to file Form SS-5 with your local Social Security office to obtain a new Social Security card. Notifying the Social Security Administration will also update the Internal Revenue Service of your new name.

3. Get a new driver’s license

Get an updated license is super important.  You will most likely be able to update voter registration and vehicle and title at the same time. Check with your state Department of Motor Vehicles for instructions.

4. Update work records and benefits

Make sure they have new name and address as well as if any new beneficiaries or dependents will be added to your current insurance plan.

5. Contact your bank

Bring your updated license into a local bank and change your name in person

6. Notify creditors in order to link credit files

7. Then contact the other places on your list, such as:

       Landlord or mortgage company.

       Other insurance accounts (auto, life, home, etc.).

       Physicians’ offices.

       Professional licensing boards.

       Investment accounts.

       Your attorney (to update legal documents).

       Utilities.

       Passport office.

       Post office.

       Voter registration board.

       Alumni association.

       Facebook

       Email accounts

       Blogs

       Websites

       ETC

       Magazine subscriptions

Maid of Honor Duties

So you’ve been tried, and weighed and you fit the bill. You’re the maid of honor. Be happy. You are now your friends sounding board and confident.  There are tons of highs and lows when it comes to being a maid of honor. The important thing is to understand what it really means. She loves you.  Remember that.  She may decide you are the perfect person to take out a little wedding stress on. Or she may be perfect angelic and never say or do anything hurtful. Either way, hold on tight.

 

In today’s pinterest world, Maid of honor can take on different meanings. For some people, it’s interpreted as wedding planner/organizer.  For others, it simply means standing a little closer, holding her flowers and fixing her train. I personally believe the duties fall a little in between and depend on how many maids/matrons there are as well as proximity to bride. You simply can not expect an out of town maid of honor to do everything the girl living 5 minutes away can do. That doesn’t mean the out of town moh is any less emotionally invested.

 

One of your main duties no matter what is throwing the couples shower. Put a little love in it. Be as creative or as classic as she desires. Some brides have a vision and some brides can’t care less. Ask her what she wants. Determine if she wants a couple or ladies shower, where she wants it located, and when does she want it. After this, you will need to make invitations, work on decorations, choose a few fun games to play, make the menu, order cupcakes or cake, and encourage bride to register for gifts if she hasn’t already.  You can hint or ask other bridesmaids if they can contribute.  Most wont mind bringing a dish or picking up cupcakes etc.   Make sure the shower is at least 2 months prior to wedding. J

 

For the Maid of Honor that truly wants to be supportive here’s a few things you can do to help your friend prepare for their wedding and enjoy their wedding:

 

Prepare for wedding:

-Assist in addressing invitations (or stamping if you’re handwriting isn’t awesome or she has a calligrapher)

-Plan the shower

-Make an emergency kit (ill put a list of suggested items at bottom of article)

-Help the bride gather everything she will need for wedding (clothing makeup etc) and stay organized

-Help the bride get dressed. You will need to know how to corset/tie her dress as well as bustle. Go to her appointment with her and learn how to do this. (PS before wedding make sure your hands are clean!!! White dress—dirty makeup hands—aaaaah)

-Bring the brides going away outfit with you to reception

-Help the Bride pack for honeymoon and double check that she hasn’t left anything out.

 

 

Ceremony

-Keep the itinerary/schedule intact by making sure everyone (bridesmaids especially) are in the know of what they are suppose to be doing… and doing it

(reception too)

-Help the bride with gown, veil and train

-Hold her flowers

-Hold her ring

-Sign the marriage license

 

Reception

-Get her and the groom a plate to eat upon entering reception hall. They won’t have time to get it themselves!

-Point out important people to the bride to photographer/videographer. Help make sure that people are blocking key views of these professionals.

-Actually watch their first dance

-Have bridal party ready and waiting to do the wedding party dance

-Make sure best man is ready to do garter toss

-Help the bride change into her going away outfit

-Bring the wedding gown home after reception and bring it

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 be preserved. (this would be arranged by bride. This is mainly if she is going on a honeymoon)

-Mail the wedding announcements the following day of wedding.

-If the bride request, bring guest book, gifts etc to a safe location *their house or parents* for when they return.

 

 

Last but not least, ENJOY IT! This is fun! You are celebrating one of the most important day of a very important persons life. Show your love and be accountable. They are counting on you and that’s what really matters.

 

 

WEDDING DAY EMERGENCY KIT

Wedding Day Emergency Kit

A checklist of things every bride should have on hand on her wedding day.

Be prepared! Print this list and check off items as you assemble your kit.

Grooming

¨ hand lotion, wet wipes

¨ curling iron, hot rollers

¨ tissues

¨ hairdryer

¨ cotton balls, cotton swabs

¨ brush, comb

¨ makeup

¨ hairspray, hair gel

¨ makeup remover

¨ bobby pins, hair elastics, barrettes

¨ nail polish in shade worn

¨ headband or clips for pulling hair back while applying makeup

¨ nail polish remover

¨ toothbrush, toothpaste, floss

¨ nail file

¨ mouthwash

¨ tweezers

¨ baby powder

¨ small grooming scissors

¨ deodorant

¨ small hand towel

¨ perfume

¨ lint brush

 

Attire

¨ “throwaway” garter

¨ safety pins and a sewing kit with thread the color of bride’s and attendants’ dresses

¨ clear nail polish for runs in pantyhose

¨ masking tape or sewing tape (for last-minute ripped hems)

¨ extra earring backs

¨ small scissors (for thread)

¨ extra buttons

¨ club soda or other stain removal solutions

¨ flat shoes for the reception

¨ iron

¨ extra pantyhose

¨ White chalk for dress

Health/Medical

¨ antacid

¨ bandages

¨ antihistamine, cold remedy, any prescription meds

¨ upset stomach remedy

¨ aspirin, pain relievers

¨ feminine hygiene products (tampons, panty liners, etc.)

Miscellaneous

¨ extra copies of directions to reception

¨ _________________________________________

¨ breath mints

¨ _________________________________________

¨ cell phone and home phone numbers of all wedding participants

¨ _________________________________________

¨ contact information for all vendors

¨ _________________________________________

¨ snacks

¨ _________________________________________

¨ bottled water

¨ _________________________________________

¨ champagne, glasses

¨ _________________________________________

 

 

Hap

 

 

 

LITTLE SIDENOTE TO BRIDES; HOW TO PRESERVE WEDDING DRESS

 

Professionally

  1. Bring your dress within six weeks to get dry cleaned (or make arrangements).
  2. Professional gown preservation cost between 150$ and 500$.  Research and find a reputable dry cleaner with vast experience in the area.

 

DIY

If doing yourself. Get plenty of acid-free tissue paper and decide hanger or box storage. I vote hanger.

 

  1. If going with box, line the box with the paper and fold the dress accordion style hem first into box. Stuff the bodice with crumpled tissue paper. Put layers of tissue on top and put on lid.  Make sure lid is solid and does not have a plastic window. 
  2. For hanger storage, wrap a wide hanger with cotton batting and cover it with muslin. Buy an acid free cardboard “dress shaper” and place it over the hanger. Wrap it in tissue and place dress over the hanger.  Stuff the bodice of the dress and any deep folds with the tissue paper.  Cover the dress with a muslin bag and hang it in a coold dry closet. Don’t crush with any other clothing

 

You will need to inspect your dress annually. For box storage, you will need to repackage dress annually and fold in new areas to prevent creasing. 

To get a videographer or not to get a videographer, that is the question.

I say get them!

Every bride that I have spoken with that did not hire a videographer regretted it. From what I hear, the wedding day is one fantastic blur. How wonderful would it be to return from your honeymoon and get to revisit that special day. Even better than that, can you imagine in say ten years. I personally want a videographer for so much more than just to capture our I dos. For example, my nana and gramps love my son soooo much. You can see it when they look at him. It’s so beautiful. How awesome would it be for my son to be able to show his children these videos? Or my moms annoying but infectious laugh. One day I won’t be able to hear it. As annoying as it is, I know ill miss it. My future children will be able to watch these videos and these people. Anytime I start to forget I can relive my wedding day and when those that I love pass I will have this treasure to see their smiling face again. I know I could invest in a video recorder and start recording life events to capture this but I think when a professional does it in atmosphere like a wedding it intensifies everything.

Most that chose not to have videographer did so because of budget woes. I get it.

In order to not throw my budget extremely off, I eliminated flowers and décor in the vintage chapel and the photo booth. The chapel was beautiful enough without it and there really wasn’t much space for a photo booth. There is usually something you can move around. There are also some videographers who have a more economic price. Their work may not be on the same level as the pricier videographer but it’s better than nothing!

I was definitely one of the brides on the fence about hiring a videographer. Then I watched samples! Here is a link to my favorite videographer (yep the videographer for my wedding! Squueee — I never “squee” so you know they are amazing!) http://liparifilms.com/ I still go over his videos and watch them and cry a little bit. Then again wedding planning has turned me into a big ball of emotions. My advice, find a way. There is a videographer out there for every bride and every budget.

If you absolutely no way in the world can find room for this in your budget, at least get it on some sort of video. Professional is the way to go but even bad audio/lighting and shaky video are better than nothing!

NEXT POST: The Elopement trend and Destination Weddings.

Happy Planning!

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Stevi

Click Click Shoot-Wedding Photographr

There are many styles and types of wedding photography and photographers. To be truthful, there are too many for one blog and I am not familiar with all. I am going to break it down to three popular styles of photography and 7 types of photographers.

photo

PHOTOJOURNALISTIC
First and Foremost will be my favorite style, Photojournalistic. The name says it all. The photographer uses their art to tell the story of your wedding. They capture the intimate moments when your dad first sees you and his eyes well up with pride, when you stand nervously as your mom or maid of honor lace up the back of your dress, your deep shaky breath before you walk down the aisle, his look of anticipation as he waits. All those little moments you wish you could burn into your memory forever. The pros with this style are well…everything. You must ensure your photographer has a great instinct because you are completely relying on this to ensure those little moments are shot but overall it’s makes for a beautiful collection of memories.

CLASSIC
The second style I will be discussing is the classic style of photography. These are the ones you are use to seeing in older photo albums. The bride posed with nearly everyone at the wedding, typically around the cake table or at the front of the altar. I definitely feel there is a place for these timeless photos in every album. The cons of this style mainly lies in the lack of originality, and that they are extremely time consuming.

CONTEMPORARY/FASHION
The final style, Contemporary or Fashion photography. These make for very interesting artistic photos. There are many definitions to this category. I personally consider this style to be the style that utilizes beautiful backgrounds, available lighting, and professional posing in order to achieve a photo that looks more like art than anything. While very beautiful, I wouldn’t recommend just having this style as your only choice. What is fashionable now may not always be and this will not tell the story of your wedding day.

CHOOSING THE STYLE
What style am I hoping for? I am truly hoping for a mix! From the work that I have seen he does a great mix of all three. You want some poses with family members and bridal party, but not so many that they suck up an hour of your partying time. You want pictures of all those memories but still have ones that can be displayed in a photo frame. As for contemporary, you most likely want a few beautiful shots that you make you and your loved ones look as if you stepped off the pages of a magazine.

CLICK CLICK FLASH
Now lets talk about those creative creatures: the wedding photographers. Once again, this does not cover the full spectrum of photographers but I think this covers a large portion of what you will see when searching for a wedding photographer. I am a fan of list so I shall list this out starting with my preference of course!

1 The Learning Lady (or gentlemen)

These guys are artist just starting out. They may have a year or less experience. This could be dangerous territory but I honestly believe that photography is like any other art. When you have it, you just have it. Now don’t get me wrong. Experience will benefit these guys in the long run and they will get even better at their craft. The truly talented wedding photographers that have a ton of experience tend to have prices that reflect this. Check out their photos from previous weddings. You can get a good feel of what they have to offer. Look around you will see what I am saying. The great thing about these aspiring photographers is not only will you have a fresh eyed enthusiastic vendor but hey you are helping them too! I personally have a soft spot for business in their first 5 or years of business. I try to book these type of vendors when possible.

2 The Old Foggys

These guys have been around awhile. By awhile I mean 20-30 years ago. They come from a time when film cameras where used and photojournalistic wasn’t yet a household word. Now there is a perk here! Hellloo, they have 20-30 years of experience. That being said, typically the older generation photographer will prefer the traditional style of photography. If this is what you want go for it and if not it doesn’t hurt to ask if they would consider taking a different style of shot. It is a revolving art form and they may or may not have modernized their style.

3 The Pretend Photographer (Aka Fauxtographer or Shoot & Burner)

You’ll probably find this guy while perusing the quik quarter. The idea is they will shoot your wedding and send you a couple disc with the photos (not touched up or modified). They will be super cheap and if that is what you are looking for this would be your guy. The old motto you get what you pay for comes to mind. I know I know. They may be a super amateur photographer trying to get on their feet but so honestly, I think you are better off with Auntie Ann (See Below)

4 Auntie Ann and her little camera too.

Everyone has one. I’m speaking of that aunt with the pretty great eye and an even better camera. This may work well for family photo or maybe even engagements but let Auntie Ann be a guest. If she wants to bring her pricey canon and her artistic eye along, fantastic! She can capture pictures of family members and friends from her vantage point. The main problem is people tend to shoot people they know or favor. Even if she attempts to include everyone, your pictures will ultimately be focused on the people she is familiar. Someone outside the normal circle will have an objective outlook and photograph everyone to an equal ration. Any who… That is a huge pressure to put on a family member’s shoulders. Even if she doesn’t mind she should be joining in on the festivities.

5 High Dollar and Quite Luxurious

Remember when I said “you get what you pay for”. Well high dollar upscale boutique type photography definitely fits the bill. These are the photographers that probably started out as those very talented learning ladies and gents but have blossomed to a whole new level. Their work is absolutely stunning and their services are impeccable. You can even say they would pamper you. It’s like staying at Ritz Carlton vs a Hilton. Both are wonderful but one leaves you feeling like a queen and one more like a duchess. The only drawback here is the price. They are usually closer to, if not in, the 10’s to 20 thousands. As you can tell I absolutely love these guys. I love drooling over their work. Neither my budget nor my pocket book quite agreed so I opted for a talented guy in category A.

6 I have a specialty but its not wedding photography Photographer

So these guys are pretty great too. The problem is their work may or may not translate well. Meaning, they may take FANTASTIC portrait work or landscape photos but not be able to capture the essence of the wedding. Some (particularly photojournalistic or fashion) may be able to pull of the wedding photographer thing even if this is not their specialty but it MAY be a gamble. If you are considering using this type of photographer I would view their work and get a good sense of where they are coming from. You may get a fantastic price and a fantastic album. You may get a bunch of awkwardness mixed with a handful of great shots. Remember it is an art form. I wouldn’t want a rock band to play Cajun music. They may be similar but that doesn’t mean they are the same. Then again that rock band may rock the crowd with zydeco tunes. You will never know until you check’em out.

As mentioned earlier, this is not an all inclusive list of type of photographers and photography out there but I hope it helps you get more familiarized for when you start that search. There is at least one positive for each and like anything else in your wedding it falls back to what you prefer. Honestly, if you take ANY advice from me it is this. THIS IS YOUR WEDDING SO LET IT BE YOUR WEDDING. You can get help with decisions but ultimately go with your gut. You may make comprises. Trust me sometimes it’s needed as a peace wager. That being said, ultimately there are two people who need to be happy with it and on that day they will share the same name! Happy Planning!

NEXT POST: VIDEOGRAPHER-A MUST HAVE OR A MAYBE NOT?

Happy Planning!

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Stevi

“Put them together, and what have you got? Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo.” _the wedding planner

fairy god mother
So let’s talk about that the wedding planner (or as I no longer secretly refer to her in my mind, my fairy godmother)

So I recently read a post regarding the rough side of being a wedding planner (http://www.valmariepaper.com/blog/). It made me sad. Really truly sad. It also made me wonder if I at times come off as ungrateful. Britany if you’re reading this, I AM SUPER SUPER GRATEFUL. Back to the subject at hand, the mistreatment of people (professional or not) does not sit well with me and it makes me wonder why some people think its okay when planning a wedding. Seriously, if I become that self absorbed and hateful bridezilla please oh please tackle me, slap me a bit, then slam my head into the ground until I get my wits back. Just kidding, please don’t do that. If you know me you know this is probably not your best course of action. You do have my permission to poke me in the arm and tell me what’s on your mind as I give you the death glare. I guess what I am trying to say is treat your wedding planner and all your vendors with the respect they deserve. At the end of the day, they are people with feelings and families outside your wedding. She’s not actually your fairy godmother but she’s the closest you’ll get to one! Imagine if Cinderella told her godmother off for the clock striking too early and her shoe not fitting properly. I’m pretty sure she would have been the one turned into a pumpkin. Things may or may not go as planned and your planner will do everything she possibly can to make things go as they should but don’t forget she doesn’t have a magic wand! Even Cinderella’s godmother couldn’t control EVERYTHING.

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Now that we’ve covered how NOT to treat your planner, let’s discuss the type of planners out there.

FULL SERVICE

Who Needs’em?
The Ladies that need someone to (sometimes literally) hold their hand from the ring to the walk(and a little bit after)

Sets you back: Depending on your location, their experience, and their packages (amongst other things) this will probably cost 2,000 and up.

So what exactly is “full service’?

These gals*or guys* do it all. They will help you dream up and execute your vision down to the little details and the not so pretty business stuff. I cant speak for what each planner will do but typically the list would be something like this
· recommend and work with all wedding vendors
· accompany you on your appointments
· Handle wedding vendor contracts
· manage the guest list and RSVPs
· create a workable wedding budget
· plan a variety of wedding parties (engagement, showers etc.)(sometimes this is at additional cost. Don’t expect this without asking first)
· help create the theme and style of the wedding
· provide ongoing telephone and email support (sometimes daily)
· be there on the wedding day to make sure it all happens as planned…and hold the bride’s hand!
If you opt for this type of planner –well honestly ANY planner- chemistry is the key. Ya’ll have to like each other. If you don’t, keep looking. She may be perfection but if the chemistry is off it’s no bueno.

DAY OF/MONTH OF

Who need’s em?
The lady who has it all together and down to a science but needs her right hand lady to help make sure the day goes as planned.

What will it set me back?
Once again, there are multiple factors but I know in my area this type of planner started around 750 and went up from there.

What do they do?
Ideally, they come into a planned wedding about a month before and touch base with all those lovely vendors and make sure the proverbial wheel is greased and ready to roll Mainly they swoop in last minute(ish), make your sure you’ve dotted those I’s and T’s and manage your wedding day schedule. Don’t let the day of title fool. They usually put in at least a week of work before hand to make that the day of isn’t a hellish chaotic endeavor. They will usually meet up with you a couple times prior as well as correspond via email/phone. I tip my hats to these ladies. Truly I tip my hat to all planners but this one is in the game of risky business. Could you imagine coming in this late in the game when the bride has made a faux pas! Gasp.

ah

HOURLY

Who need’s em?
The bride who doesn’t have all the answers but just has a couple questions. For example, I need help wit this budget or I cant find a band.

What will it set me back? In my area the lowest fee I found for these service was around 200$

What do they do? Whew. What cant they do? Take the full service planner and cut it up into a bunch of little sections and you have this guy! I’ve seen a few specialty packages where the planner will help you get started, help you budget or help you wrap business details up. Basically, you would be paying for professional help, a push in the right direction and one step closer to well planned low stress wedding. If this is all you have room for in your budget this is still better than nothing!

Just remember, whatever planner you choose you better be nice or Ill get you. JK *evil laugh.

evil laugh
Happy Planning!tumblr_lsxj4wa7i11qferclo1_500
Stevi

RSVP: WON’T MISS YOUR SPECIAL DAY

So you’re invited to a wedding.  During engagement time, this is like a kid getting let into a candy store. You know all the hard work that goes into it and you can not wait to see all the details and the pay off. You also know you will be making mental notes the whole time.  That’s all fine and dandy but you must remember you are someone’s guest! There are rules of etiquette that apply to being a guest and here they are

BE ON TIME: DON’T BE LATE, DON’T BE LATE! TIS A VERY IMPORTANT DATE!
First and foremost, respect their time. They have spent anywhere from 6 months to 2 years planning this. The least you can do is show up on time.  6:30 on the invitation does NOT mean you can show up at 6:35 or 6:30 for that matter. She is making her entrance at this time and you should not be joining her. I understand traffic happens, coffee spills as you are walking out the door, and when you are rushing there is always something you forget on the counter but think about the bride. Imagine this scene, you’re getting married and all eyes are on you. The groom is in a trance and the room is still and quiet minus the sounds of your wedding march. Tears are welling up and it’s practically magical. Then BAM the doors swing open and someone runs in heaving and sweating running to their seat. Okay, maybe it won’t be so dramatic but in the brides eyes she will see you as rude villain barging in on her wedding. Not exactly the role I personally would like to play in a wedding. If you are running late for the ceremony and it’s in a large church I would give it 10-15 minutes. This should be enough time for her to get down the aisle. Then slip in a SIDE door and QUIETLY find your seat. Doing your very best to attract little to no attention. If it’s in a tiny chapel (like my wedding) keep your behind outside.  I am not joking. Park it on a bench and wait for the ceremony to end. There’s no stealthy entrance in a chapel built for 80. I personally will not remember if someone didn’t make it to see my ceremony but I am pretty sure I will distinctly remember the A hole who showed up late and marched in mid ceremony.

IF THEY ARE INVITED THEY ARE LISTED ON ENVELOPE
There’s no “and guest” but I am dating a new hot guy and it’s just not right for me to leave him home.  Most likely, it is very right for you to leave him behind. Most weddings have a per person fee and you do not want to bring along a party crasher. It is proper etiquette to include all long term/steady spouses. The general rule is if relationship status is 1 year plus, living with, engaged or married they are invited. If you feel you absolutely must have your significant other I would hesitantly contact the bride (if you know her that well). If you don’t know her well enough to call her then I would just say no. Don’t do it.  It may seem a big put off for you to not have someone special in your life join you but consider the cost per person and the fact that YOU did mean enough to the couple to be put on that list. You are important to her. Trust me, I went over my list painstakingly and sometimes in tears.  There were many more people I truly wanted joining me but there was simply no way.

THE GIFT:  TO FOLLOW REGISTRY OR NOT FOLLOW REGISTRY
So I heard this rumor that the registry was “just a suggestion”. Well here is my suggestion, STICK TO THE REGISTRY.  You might think that cute gumbo plate is the perfect gift or those coasters with New Orleans pictures are perfect. Yet, They may have 2 dozen of those plates and think those coasters are ridiculous. In this day and age, most couples already reside together and have a ton of stuff. If they list it on their registry it is because they want and need it. I personally wish they had birthday party registries. That would make my life so much easier. They are telling you what they want. What’s easier that THAT? If you are worried about price, it is recommended that you put items in varying price ranges in order to accommodate all guest so they should have something in your price range. They may also have larger ticket items.  For a couple of my close friends’ weddings, I plan on getting with a few other people in order to split the cost of a more expensive item.  Worse case scenario, get a card and slap some cash in there. Trust me, the wedding couple will not mind.

THE ATTIRE: DRESS TO THE NINES
Here is my personal “biggie”! Let us cover what NOT to wear. Jeans! Seriously, this may be my biggest pet peeve. Jeans are for going to the movies, working outside and hanging out at friends. Would you go to a Mardi Gras Ball or a high class restaurant in jeans? I’d hope not.   Unless the bridesmaids dresses are say… camo, and the groomsmen are wearing hip boots and camo jackets there is no place for jeans at wedding. This is a semiformal to formal event. It may not call for a black jacket and tie but you should at the very least wear a button down/pair of khakis or a cocktail/sundress (gender specific of course).  Another big no-no is wearing white if you are not the bride. By white I am referring to every shade. Do not wear ivory, palest pink, lightest yellow or anything else that is so pale it could look white in photographs.

WHAT ABOUT THIS?-ALL THOSE LITTLE QUESTIONS
The bride is not the person you need to be directing all your questions to starting a few weeks before the wedding. She will be being pulled in a million directions and may be slightly frazzled at this point.  She doesn’t have time to point out the location of the powder room,  find a safety pin for Sue Ann’s dress strap, or band aids for little Tommy’s cut.   There are tons of people surrounding her who will most likely be more than happy to assist you.  My suggestions are The Planner (if available), The Maid/Matron of honor, the mother of the bride or the wedding site consultant/director.  

ENJOY YOURSELF
All rules and etiquette aside, have a good time.  Have a few drinks, dance and enjoy the night. After all, this is a party celebrating a near and dears now happily ever after!
CHEERS MY DEARS!

Happy Planning!

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Stevi